Happy Birthday DNA

Douglas Adams will be 60 this Sunday.

That is to say, he would have been if not for, you know, Death, The Universe and Everything.

And although we at Galaxy Six Broadcasting are proud to forge our special blend of entertainment (and infotainment, edutainment and all-round lobotainment) with its own distinctive flavour, it would be no overstatement to say that DNA was – or is – the origin of our existence. We’ve created our own Universe and our own Everything, but if it wasn’t for dear old Douglas and his Hitch-Hiker’s Guide – plus numerous strong sources of Brownian motion (yes, sometimes a hot cup of tea, but sometimes the all-important Double Horlicks) – our efforts would have amounted to the equivalent of finding a lump of green putty in our armpit and completely failing to record the incident in verse.

As it is, we’ve recorded our incidents in no less than two volumes, with a third already in production and due for release in December this year. (2012, or an hour later on Galaxy Six +1.)

While others may contribute to the Adamsian universe with sixth books in the trilogy or TV episodes ‘based on’ Dirk Gently, we prefer to honour the man’s memory by creating our own brand. We all pine for more of his lovely fiddly bits around the fjords, but we are not parrots.

So why not try something new.

With that in mind, this weekend we are offering the first instalment in our top quality SF series at HALF PRICE – FOR THIS WEEKEND ONLY. Your chance to climb on board the rollercoaster at the beginning – with a discounted ticket.

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil is available on Kindle:

From Amazon in the US

From Amazon in the UK

and in all other ebook formats

From Smashwords

The book was a smash-hit on HarperCollins’ authonomy site, within a month of the sample chapters being posted there, with hundreds of glowing comments from SF readers and those who’d never been near sci-fi in their life. This is what one reviewer had to say on Amazon:

“Evil UnLtd: The Root of All Evil is a genius space farce. Dexter Snide and his associates bumble their way through a series of (mis)adventures with a view to accumulating as much power, notoriety and wealth as they can. It is a wickedly funny, extremely well-written sci fi comedy that reads like a mash-up of Douglas Adams meets the TV sit-com, Red Dwarf, and one of my favourite sci fi tribute films, Galaxy Quest. It’s literate sci fi, chock full of humour and word play with some lovely nods to the genre and a wonderfully fitting cast of characters.”

Author Simon A Forward has written a number of books, audio dramas and short stories for Doctor Who as well as novelisations for the BBC’s Merlin series.

He is not DNA. Nor is anyone here at Galaxy Six. We just loved the man’s work.

Hopefully, even as we weave these new and exciting tales, that shows in ours.

Here’s to you, Douglas.

Share and Enjoy.

SAF

(Note: The books are also available in paperback, through Amazon, with signed copies available direct – secure payment with Paypal – from the author’s own webpage www.simonforward.co.uk. Sadly we are unable to offer the paperbacks at a discount at this time, but of course the ebooks can be enjoyed on your PC, Android phone, iPhone, iPad and probably iClaudius as well.)

Evil Movie Database

(Click on the images for larger views)

SAF 2012

Title Sequence

Not all books have such lavish opening title sequences. This is an excerpt from Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Through thrashing white water, we descend into swirling blue. Rays of light slant down to play among the bubbles and fluid shadows. Shadows transform: the slender silhouette of a naked woman emerges to dance in the light. Others rise from the depths to swim, almost shark-like, around her. We dive slowly into the midst of their circling naked forms.

An elegant silver gun juts in from the left, one beautifully manicured finger closes around the trigger and sends a bullet streaking across the oily maelstrom of silhouettes.

Sparks ignite and in the explosion of flame, the women are now fiery sirens. They dance, they somersault, they act out some fairly amateur martial arts. If you watch too closely, one of them can be seen to fall over.

Mostly they twist and turn gracefully, rising in a seductive fiery spiral. Above us, sunlight ripples on the surface.

Suddenly, a flotilla of speedboats spears past overhead, painting a screen of churning white in which the burning sirens die, fatally extinguished.

But no, we break through the white, rising into sky blue, bringing the dancing figures with us as curvaceous, vaporous hotties. Babes of cloud, cumulo nymphus, they take to the air, flexing sinuously as – suddenly – sleek fighter jets weave their way between them, looping them with vapour-trail ribbons as they engage in a deadly, balletic dogfight.

Some of the cloud-babes swoop in on the lead plane, settling to dance on the wings as it arcs through the sky, a brace of heat seeker missiles streaking hotly after it.

A phone rings.

Templar hit pause on the remote and turned up the lights. Every bloody time, without fail.

“Templar. Salmon Templar.”

“Templar. We have a situation. Get your tailfin to HQ ASAP.”

“What’s the situation, sir?”

“Are you alone? Need I ask?”

“No, sir, but I soon can be.” Templar looked over to the couch where the deluscious Bunny was peeping over the back with her tousled hair and come-back-hither eyes. “Sorry. Something’s come up.”

“It’s what I was hoping.”

She had succumbed to his charms pretty quickly. They always did. “No,” he told her, gesturing with the phone. “Time you skedaddled.”

She pouted. “Really?” She jerked a thumb at the screen. “That’s all you wanted me for? To film me in silhouette and drop me into some fancy graphics?”

“It’s a hobby.”

“You’re weird.”

“I get that a lot.”

Shaking her head, she hopped off the couch and disappeared to the studio to collect her things. Templar watched her cute butt receding, barely cloaked by the short robe.

“All clear, sir. What’s up?”

“Evil, Templar. Evil Unlimited.”

One Week Later…

Dexter. Knucks. Tanith. Ferret. Doomy. They all huddled together, frightened, bewildered, terrified. Ferret was bleating more than usual, but not for long.

A wave of blinding flame ripped through the ship, wiping the horrified, disbelieving expressions off their faces – and wiping their faces off the existential blackboard.

SAF 2012

We did a Number Two!

Book. In the series.

E-Day has landed.

On this day, 4th Feb, back in 2002 a simple and well-meaning author named Simon A Forward had his first Doctor Who book published. But that’s just peanuts to space and has nothing to do with our story.

Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love is finally with us. The series continues and Vol 1 finally has a partner. Albeit a bit younger than itself, but who are we to judge.

Anyway, you can get your hands on our hot No.2 from any of these outlets:

Amazon Kindle (US)

 

 

Amazon Kindle (UK)

 

 

And for other ebook formats

Smashwords

 

 

Watch this space for news of the paperback version. Coming soon.

 

Meanwhile, don’t forget that info on Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil can be found in the Galaxy Six shop – just click on the tab above and enjoy!

SAF

From Evil With Love

Back Cover BlurbContent Guide

Paperback. Kindle. Ebook

Feb 04/2012

Meanwhile

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil is available for the Kindle from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

Also in other Ebook formats from smashwords.com

And in paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk, with signed copies direct from the author

Evil UnLtd. Above average mean.

SAF

A Time Of Miracles

“Christmas is a time of miracles.” Max Gruber, Die Hard.

“Due to circumstances beyond our control” are words you would never expect to hear from a member of Evil UnLtd. Circumstances are always under their control, it goes without saying.

However, here at Galaxy Six we are, as it turns out, prone to delays and hiccups. And while Christmas may be a time of miracles – for villains and common folk alike – we have to fess up and admit we were entirely incapable of pulling a miracle out of the bag and delivering Evil UnLtd Vol 2 in time for its December release as originally intended. All it takes for Evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing and some good people just didn’t do enough, frankly.

Alas, it’s been held up in editing.

The sad fact of the matter is, Christmas is a time of festivities and insufferable goodwill to all men, which is just designed to hamper the efforts of evil organisations everywhere. Our only consolation will be watching the globe drown under its annual tide of rampant commercialism and after-dinner immobility.

We will be punishing our editorial team by forcing them to work over the holiday period.

Our revised aim will be to bring Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love to you – making it simultaneously available in print and various ebook formats (Kindle, Nook and Cranny) – by 4th Feb 2012. Watch this space for further updates.

The good news is that work has already commenced on Evil UnLtd Vol 3 and no stone will be left unturned – nor indeed left unthrown at low-grade workers – in our efforts to deliver the third book in this series by Christmas 2012.

Naturally, we appreciate that this will come as a great  disappointment, only likely to be matched on Christmas Day when you open up your presents to find a pack of batteries marked “Socks not included”. But, please bear with us, have heart and we will endeavour to make both books worth the wait.

Oh, and in the meantime, Merry Christmas.*

SAF

*This comment is the work of the author and is not in any way representative of the views of Dexter Snide or the members of Evil UnLtd.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Towel Day

May 25th is Towel Day.

As in:

“Sass that hoopy frood ,Colonel Gaddafi, there’s a guy who really knows where his towel is.”

So be sure to take your towel with you at all times. Soak up the atmosphere of celebration. Lie back a, treat yourself to a jinantonix or a few Pangalactic Gargleblasters and perhaps even an absorbing read.

Since many people who have read Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil have described it as ‘a book not quite but almost entirely unlike The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy‘, we here at Evil UnLtd have decided to commemorate this year’s Towel Day by practically giving away Vol 1 of our nefarious adventures.

That’s right, the ebook – available for the Kindle via Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk – and in other ebook formats from smashwords.com – will be selling for the price of a hot cake until *May 27th*. Just click on any of these links for an ebook you’ll love at prices that’ll bankrupt us. (On Smashwords enter the coupon code: RA62R for your discounted ebook.)

So happy reading and remember, a towel is not for rubbing people up the wrong way. That’s our job.

Here’s to Douglas!

SAF

Galaxy Six Shopping Channel

Some people are never satisfied.

Like Evil UnLtd, for instance. It wasn’t enough that they’d launched their enterprise on the Amazon Kindle and then spread their malign influence to other ebook formats, via Smashwords. They weren’t even content to set up their own publishing house. They had to go and set up a broadcasting company. Or hijack an existing one.

Yes, Galaxy Six Broadcasting – the people who brought you Celebrity Minefield Clearance and I’m An Asshole! Make Me Famous! – are under new management. And in addition to the various electronic formats, they will be broadcasting the Evil UnLtd series through the medium of paper.

The first copies of Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil arrived this week and it is a thing of beauty. A shiny, chunky 380pp glossy-cover paperback on clean white depleted rainforest, including three full episodes of the series plus bonus extras, such as The Lonely Planet Guide To Goyle and an exclusive extract, in print for the first time, from Vol 2: From Evil With Love. (Publishing date TBA soon!)

Look at these lovely books. Look at them.

How do you get your hands on one?

Well, you can already order this objet d’artfulness through Amazon, both here in the UK and from the US site.

You can also get your hands on a signed copy via Amazon.co.uk (just click Add To Basket from the seller calling himself sa4ward).

But as an alternative – which will save you on postage – just write to:

Simon Forward

Galaxy Six Broadcasting

5 Alexandra Terrace

Penzance

Cornwall TR18 4NX

supplying your name, return address, how many copies you would like and enclosing a cheque for £9.99 per copy – (that’s £8.99 plus £1 P&P) and we’ll ship you a signed copy, personally dedicated to whoever you’d like.

Galaxy Six. Entertainment, Infotainment, Edutainment and all-round Lobototainment.

SAF

Note: Since a couple of people have inquired about international postage on directly obtained signed copies, I should point out that unfortunately P&P to the USA and Australia, for example, rockets up to between £5-£7, which smacks of prohibitive. We’re happy to ship to sufficiently wealthy individuals in those countries, but do please bear in mind the cost.

Evil UnLtd Charity Christmas Single

Feed The World

 

It’s Christmastime,
And it’s time to be afraid
At Christmastime,
We like to fight and we might invade
And on your world of plenty
We can try our latest ploy
Selling arms around the world
at Christmastime

Best say a prayer,
Pray you don’t get the flu!
This Christmastime we’ve tried
To bring you something new!
Take a look outside your window,
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where a giant goat is looming
in the upper atmosphere
And as you sit and wolf down mince pies
Our pet monster likes them too
But tonight as you eat them
It’s eating you

And they’ll all be safe in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life (Oooh)
It’s one place we all know
No aliens will go
Well in the movies it’s un-us-u-al

Here’s to us raise a glass for our efforts!
Here’s to us, we’re Evil Un-Limited!
We’re the ones who did this to you all!

Feed the world
(To the planet-eating beast)
Feed the world
(To the mutant stargoat beast)
Feed the world
To the beast we have unleashed on Earth

Feed the world
To the beast we unleashed for our mirth

 

(Repeat until you’ve run out of celebrities, making sure to shoot at least one between each chorus.)

 

All proceeds go to an Evil cause. UK residents can donate here.

US and others can donate here.

Alternatively anyone of any nationality can donate through Smashwords.

 

SAF

N.B. Mutant stargoat appears as an homage to Douglas Adams and does not feature in the Evil UnLtd universe. Also he appears with hair extensions and his eyelashes were enhanced in post production. Any resemblance between the goat and Cheryl Cole, living or dead, is purely coincidental.