No More Mr Nice Guy

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Nothing puts our noses more out of joint here at Evil UnLtd than to discover there are those out there more evil than us. Not to mention circumstances beyond our control. We are firm believers that nothing has any business being beyond our control.

So, it pains us to use the phrase now…

Owing to circumstances beyond our control, we have been obliged to end our long-standing custom of donating 100% proceeds from Evil UnLtd books to charity.

We are somewhat stubborn and pig-headed, however, and rather than end our charitable giving altogether, we have reduced the percentage of royalties that will be donated. Hence, until further notice 20% of royalties from the Evil UnLtd series of books (ebook and paperback) will go to Cancer Research UK.

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil (Kindle)

Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love (Kindle)

Evil UnLtd Vol 3: Evil UTD (Kindle)

Evil UnLtd Vol 4: Tempus Sinister (Kindle)

We don’t really do apologies, being Evil, but the author of the books is sorry. In fact, I understand he is rather upset about the whole business and is committed to making this only a temporary reduction if possible. Which is why I have been asked to write this announcement.

Frankly, for my part, I have no idea what we were doing contributing to a charity in the first place.

Mine all mine, most sincerely

Dexter Snide.

DexterBW01

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Title Sequence

Not all books have such lavish opening title sequences. This is an excerpt from Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Through thrashing white water, we descend into swirling blue. Rays of light slant down to play among the bubbles and fluid shadows. Shadows transform: the slender silhouette of a naked woman emerges to dance in the light. Others rise from the depths to swim, almost shark-like, around her. We dive slowly into the midst of their circling naked forms.

An elegant silver gun juts in from the left, one beautifully manicured finger closes around the trigger and sends a bullet streaking across the oily maelstrom of silhouettes.

Sparks ignite and in the explosion of flame, the women are now fiery sirens. They dance, they somersault, they act out some fairly amateur martial arts. If you watch too closely, one of them can be seen to fall over.

Mostly they twist and turn gracefully, rising in a seductive fiery spiral. Above us, sunlight ripples on the surface.

Suddenly, a flotilla of speedboats spears past overhead, painting a screen of churning white in which the burning sirens die, fatally extinguished.

But no, we break through the white, rising into sky blue, bringing the dancing figures with us as curvaceous, vaporous hotties. Babes of cloud, cumulo nymphus, they take to the air, flexing sinuously as – suddenly – sleek fighter jets weave their way between them, looping them with vapour-trail ribbons as they engage in a deadly, balletic dogfight.

Some of the cloud-babes swoop in on the lead plane, settling to dance on the wings as it arcs through the sky, a brace of heat seeker missiles streaking hotly after it.

A phone rings.

Templar hit pause on the remote and turned up the lights. Every bloody time, without fail.

“Templar. Salmon Templar.”

“Templar. We have a situation. Get your tailfin to HQ ASAP.”

“What’s the situation, sir?”

“Are you alone? Need I ask?”

“No, sir, but I soon can be.” Templar looked over to the couch where the deluscious Bunny was peeping over the back with her tousled hair and come-back-hither eyes. “Sorry. Something’s come up.”

“It’s what I was hoping.”

She had succumbed to his charms pretty quickly. They always did. “No,” he told her, gesturing with the phone. “Time you skedaddled.”

She pouted. “Really?” She jerked a thumb at the screen. “That’s all you wanted me for? To film me in silhouette and drop me into some fancy graphics?”

“It’s a hobby.”

“You’re weird.”

“I get that a lot.”

Shaking her head, she hopped off the couch and disappeared to the studio to collect her things. Templar watched her cute butt receding, barely cloaked by the short robe.

“All clear, sir. What’s up?”

“Evil, Templar. Evil Unlimited.”

One Week Later…

Dexter. Knucks. Tanith. Ferret. Doomy. They all huddled together, frightened, bewildered, terrified. Ferret was bleating more than usual, but not for long.

A wave of blinding flame ripped through the ship, wiping the horrified, disbelieving expressions off their faces – and wiping their faces off the existential blackboard.

SAF 2012

  • Vol 1 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 2 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 3 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 4 – Kindle (UK)

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