Heroes Gallery

Here at Evil UnLtd, we are loath to devote any blogspace to heroes, but as it’s January 2016 we hereby make an exception and hand you over for a personal note from our scribe, Simon A Forward:

HeroesGallery

Way back when I first decided to donate royalties from the Evil UnLtd series of books to Cancer Research UK, it was intended as a temporary measure – a gesture, more than anything, something positive I might do in the face of losing first my Mum and subsequently certain other heroes of mine. My Mum’s picture is not in the above gallery but she is there in spirit. Or rather here.

Many of us are at an age where the loss of heroes will become an all too frequent experience. And it will hurt. We have to remind ourselves that these heroes lived – really lived – and then some, both in their lives and in our imaginations as they connected with us through their chosen art forms, whether they were crafting worlds, characters, stories or songs or any combination of all those.

Lis, Caroline, Mary, Iain (M), David, Alan. And Mum. Thank you.

You all rocked. You still do.

And the royalties from the Evil UnLtd books will continue to go to Cancer Research UK for the foreseeable future. Because aside from being the least I can do, it’s all I can do.

If Evil UnLtd books aren’t your cup of tea, please donate to Cancer Research. For your personal heroes.

 

SAF 2016

 

 

Of Time And Towels

Evil4Cover

Tick tock.

Happy Towel Day! And here’s to the late, great Douglas Adams.

Today struck us as a timely time to unveil the cover of the next volume in our Evil UnLtd series.

Evil UnLtd Vol 4: Tempus Sinister will, barring any chronic hystereses, be available in [Edit!] May 2015.

Lord, it’s about Time.

SAF 2014

Note: 100% of royalties from all Evil UnLtd sales will continue to go to Cancer Research UK, at least for one more year.

SEXY EVIL THREESOME!

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Check out this sexy threesome.

Yes, Evil UnLtd has become The Beast With Three Books!

Evil UnLtd Vol 3: EVIL UTD has been available on Kindle for some while, but in our ongoing efforts to reduce the rainforests we’ve finally rolled it out as a paperback.

Signed copies are available direct from the author, via Paypal (see links in the sidebar). Alternatively you can obtain copies from Amazon.

100% of royalties from all sales (ebook or paperback) will continue to go to Cancer Research UK at least until May 25th 2014.

Watch this space for further information and updates on this and other books in the series.

 

SAF

May 24th Be With You!

Welcome to 2013.

50th Anniversary year of some long-running sci-fi show. Ah yes, Doctor Who, that’s the one. One of those infuriating hero-types who’s been around forever and a symptom of some villains not doing their job right.

Anyway, yes, it is late to be welcoming people to the new year, but we at Evil UnLtd do love to be fashionably late and besides, while time waits for no man, it had better wait for us and just count itself lucky that it isn’t waiting on us.

We have special minions for that.

Speaking of dining, it has come to our attention that the world was recently shocked to discover that some of its beefburgers were found to contain 29% horsemeat.

horsedoeuvres

Perhaps the world now understands the horror and disgust we felt when it was discovered that our Evil enterprise was found to contain unacceptable levels of goodness.

Our ‘illustrious’ – and often inebriate – author, Simon A Forward, is entirely to blame.

Over the course of just over a year, Doctor Who fans were hit with the sad news of the passing of three actresses who had portrayed three favourite companions from the series. Lis Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith), Caroline John (Liz Shaw) and Mary Tamm (Romana). All down to cancer.

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So you can see how a sensitive soul with an affinity for this Doctor Who phenomenon might feel moved to do something in this anniversary year. Especially someone, like Simon A Forward, who lost his own mum to cancer seven years ago this coming May.

Hence, all royalties from Evil UnLtd books will be going to Cancer Research UK until May 24th 2013.

Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil

Paperback

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Evil2Cover

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

EvilFork

Furthermore, with Evil UnLtd Vol 3: Evil UTD due for release that same month (in time for Towel Day, Douglas Adams/Hitchhikers Guide fans take note!) our author was keen to continue with some longer-term contribution beyond that date.

With that in mind, he has decided that a full 50% of royalties on all Evil UnLtd books, including future volumes, will go to Cancer Research UK.

50% goodness is a troubling level of contaminant to find in your own produce and we are far from happy about it, let us tell you. But it’s not in our nature to apologise or withdraw our products from circulation. We’d much rather withdraw circulation from consumers.

Naturally, those same consumers can dispense with book purchases altogether and donate directly to Cancer Research UK.

Jedi and others of a similar lightsaber-wielding hippy-dippy persuasion would caution you to beware of the dark side. We would urge people to embrace it.

Much as it pains us, you will be doing some good.

But ultimately, as we’ve mentioned before, cancer is evil and we could do without the competition. So, please, treat yourself to a book and/or help spread the word by sharing links on your blogs, Facebook, Twitter, by email, whatever your preferred means of communication.

The Farce Of The Dark Side, it proclaims on all our book covers. Although we’re sure that must be some sort of typographical error.

In any case, as the subject header says, May 24th be with you.

Help Evil do some Good.

Title Sequence

Not all books have such lavish opening title sequences. This is an excerpt from Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Through thrashing white water, we descend into swirling blue. Rays of light slant down to play among the bubbles and fluid shadows. Shadows transform: the slender silhouette of a naked woman emerges to dance in the light. Others rise from the depths to swim, almost shark-like, around her. We dive slowly into the midst of their circling naked forms.

An elegant silver gun juts in from the left, one beautifully manicured finger closes around the trigger and sends a bullet streaking across the oily maelstrom of silhouettes.

Sparks ignite and in the explosion of flame, the women are now fiery sirens. They dance, they somersault, they act out some fairly amateur martial arts. If you watch too closely, one of them can be seen to fall over.

Mostly they twist and turn gracefully, rising in a seductive fiery spiral. Above us, sunlight ripples on the surface.

Suddenly, a flotilla of speedboats spears past overhead, painting a screen of churning white in which the burning sirens die, fatally extinguished.

But no, we break through the white, rising into sky blue, bringing the dancing figures with us as curvaceous, vaporous hotties. Babes of cloud, cumulo nymphus, they take to the air, flexing sinuously as – suddenly – sleek fighter jets weave their way between them, looping them with vapour-trail ribbons as they engage in a deadly, balletic dogfight.

Some of the cloud-babes swoop in on the lead plane, settling to dance on the wings as it arcs through the sky, a brace of heat seeker missiles streaking hotly after it.

A phone rings.

Templar hit pause on the remote and turned up the lights. Every bloody time, without fail.

“Templar. Salmon Templar.”

“Templar. We have a situation. Get your tailfin to HQ ASAP.”

“What’s the situation, sir?”

“Are you alone? Need I ask?”

“No, sir, but I soon can be.” Templar looked over to the couch where the deluscious Bunny was peeping over the back with her tousled hair and come-back-hither eyes. “Sorry. Something’s come up.”

“It’s what I was hoping.”

She had succumbed to his charms pretty quickly. They always did. “No,” he told her, gesturing with the phone. “Time you skedaddled.”

She pouted. “Really?” She jerked a thumb at the screen. “That’s all you wanted me for? To film me in silhouette and drop me into some fancy graphics?”

“It’s a hobby.”

“You’re weird.”

“I get that a lot.”

Shaking her head, she hopped off the couch and disappeared to the studio to collect her things. Templar watched her cute butt receding, barely cloaked by the short robe.

“All clear, sir. What’s up?”

“Evil, Templar. Evil Unlimited.”

One Week Later…

Dexter. Knucks. Tanith. Ferret. Doomy. They all huddled together, frightened, bewildered, terrified. Ferret was bleating more than usual, but not for long.

A wave of blinding flame ripped through the ship, wiping the horrified, disbelieving expressions off their faces – and wiping their faces off the existential blackboard.

SAF 2012