They’re Back And It’s About Bloody Time!

Ladies, gentlemen and bowls of petunias, synchronise your swatches.

Towel Day (May 25th) is almost upon us again.

In honour of the occasion we will be releasing the latest Evil book. In honour of the book involving an element of time travel, we are releasing it later than originally planned.

Here, to whet your readerly appetites is the cover blurb:

Evil4Cover

The Farce Of The Dark Side.

Villains are the new Heroes in this epic Sci-Fi series.

Chronocide.

A long-cherished ambition for Professor Doomladen. Time is relative and in his estimation she’s a crabby, demanding old aunt, past overdue for bumping off.

Dexter Snide has murderous intentions towards other targets – Six and the PHUX Corporation who have stolen his TV station and his Tree, obliging Evil UnLtd to slum it in a derelict girls’ school in the branches of a mere Sapling attached to the hull of a Myxomatosan Death Warren.

In an imperfect present, one means of getting Evil’s future back on track is to turn back the clock. Dexter’s uber-devious scheme provides a tempting opportunity for Doomladen to achieve his ultimate goal. To kill Time.

But such temporal tampering is a sure way to attract the attentions of new enemies. Like a certain mysterious traveller in a blue box…

Worse, Time is a bitch. Mess with her and she messes back.

Watch this space for further announcements.

(WARNING: Actual book may contain spoilers.)

SAF 2015

Note: 100% of royalties from all Evil UnLtd sales continue to go to Cancer Research UK.

May 24th Be With You!

Welcome to 2013.

50th Anniversary year of some long-running sci-fi show. Ah yes, Doctor Who, that’s the one. One of those infuriating hero-types who’s been around forever and a symptom of some villains not doing their job right.

Anyway, yes, it is late to be welcoming people to the new year, but we at Evil UnLtd do love to be fashionably late and besides, while time waits for no man, it had better wait for us and just count itself lucky that it isn’t waiting on us.

We have special minions for that.

Speaking of dining, it has come to our attention that the world was recently shocked to discover that some of its beefburgers were found to contain 29% horsemeat.

horsedoeuvres

Perhaps the world now understands the horror and disgust we felt when it was discovered that our Evil enterprise was found to contain unacceptable levels of goodness.

Our ‘illustrious’ – and often inebriate – author, Simon A Forward, is entirely to blame.

Over the course of just over a year, Doctor Who fans were hit with the sad news of the passing of three actresses who had portrayed three favourite companions from the series. Lis Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith), Caroline John (Liz Shaw) and Mary Tamm (Romana). All down to cancer.

DWCompanions01

So you can see how a sensitive soul with an affinity for this Doctor Who phenomenon might feel moved to do something in this anniversary year. Especially someone, like Simon A Forward, who lost his own mum to cancer seven years ago this coming May.

Hence, all royalties from Evil UnLtd books will be going to Cancer Research UK until May 24th 2013.

Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil

Paperback

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Evil2Cover

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

EvilFork

Furthermore, with Evil UnLtd Vol 3: Evil UTD due for release that same month (in time for Towel Day, Douglas Adams/Hitchhikers Guide fans take note!) our author was keen to continue with some longer-term contribution beyond that date.

With that in mind, he has decided that a full 50% of royalties on all Evil UnLtd books, including future volumes, will go to Cancer Research UK.

50% goodness is a troubling level of contaminant to find in your own produce and we are far from happy about it, let us tell you. But it’s not in our nature to apologise or withdraw our products from circulation. We’d much rather withdraw circulation from consumers.

Naturally, those same consumers can dispense with book purchases altogether and donate directly to Cancer Research UK.

Jedi and others of a similar lightsaber-wielding hippy-dippy persuasion would caution you to beware of the dark side. We would urge people to embrace it.

Much as it pains us, you will be doing some good.

But ultimately, as we’ve mentioned before, cancer is evil and we could do without the competition. So, please, treat yourself to a book and/or help spread the word by sharing links on your blogs, Facebook, Twitter, by email, whatever your preferred means of communication.

The Farce Of The Dark Side, it proclaims on all our book covers. Although we’re sure that must be some sort of typographical error.

In any case, as the subject header says, May 24th be with you.

Help Evil do some Good.

LIVE UnLtd

“Tom Hiddleston, another actor our author thinks would make a good me. I suppose he almost looks the part in the suit.” Dexter Snide

Fiction is rife with tales of creations – robots, monsters, what have you – turning on their creators. But it’s not so common to find creators attempting to royally shaft their creations. It is a truly despicable thing, a betrayal of the author-character relationship and quite frankly if the author expects his characters to behave as he wishes in his next book he will be in for a surprise of the nastiest kind.

Nasty is one of those things that we here at Evil UnLtd do best.

Still, we are to some degree at the mercy of our author’s whims and he has decided to fritter profits away on (permit me to shudder) charity. That’s right: all his royalties are going to Cancer Research UK for the next six months (until May 24th 2013).

Personally, I see it as a cynical marketing ploy, exploiting a much-vaunted ‘worthwhile cause’ as a promotional tool and in that respect a laudable scheme. But really, either way, it shouldn’t concern me. It’s his money – the author’s share – and Evil UnLtd are not strictly about profits. One can make more money any time, after all – by printing your own, stealing and so on. Whereas spreading misery and despair et cetera, well, that’s priceless.

Indeed, it is exactly this line of thought that ultimately leads me to applaud this move.

Cancer is evil.

It’s remarkably effective in its ability to make people miserable, devastate lives, all that sort of thing. So you could be forgiven for thinking we would be doubly opposed to any charitable agency that sets out to combat it.

But quite frankly, we can do without the competition.

So I would like to see the back of it.

To that end, I would suggest that we, Evil UnLtd, and all you good people out there, if not actually unite in a common cause, at least engage in this temporary uneasy alliance to do what we can against this pervasive enemy.

You can contribute by purchasing a copies of our first two volumes, The Root Of All Evil and From Evil With Love. Links to the paperbacks and ebook formats are readily available on this site, but I’ll see to it that a minion provides them here again for your convenience:

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil

Paperback 

Kindle (Amazon UK) £2.05

Kindle (Amazon US) $3.28

Other Ebook Formats (Smashwords) $2.99

Paperback (Amazon UK) £8.99

Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

 

Kindle (Amazon UK) £2.05

Kindle (Amazon US) $3.28

Other Ebook Formats (Smashwords) $2.99

Paperback (Amazon UK) £8.99

You can also do your bit by spreading the word, telling your friends and/or enemies. Everybody and anybody.

See, our author was convinced we would disapprove and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for ‘us meddling characters’.

We are far smarter than that.

Long live Evil. Down with cancer.

Dexter Snide

 

Alternatively, please visit Cancer Research UK and make a direct donation.

  • Vol 1 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 2 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 3 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 4 – Kindle (UK)

  • Signed Paperbacks

    Signed Copies Direct From The Author