May 24th Be With You!

Welcome to 2013.

50th Anniversary year of some long-running sci-fi show. Ah yes, Doctor Who, that’s the one. One of those infuriating hero-types who’s been around forever and a symptom of some villains not doing their job right.

Anyway, yes, it is late to be welcoming people to the new year, but we at Evil UnLtd do love to be fashionably late and besides, while time waits for no man, it had better wait for us and just count itself lucky that it isn’t waiting on us.

We have special minions for that.

Speaking of dining, it has come to our attention that the world was recently shocked to discover that some of its beefburgers were found to contain 29% horsemeat.

horsedoeuvres

Perhaps the world now understands the horror and disgust we felt when it was discovered that our Evil enterprise was found to contain unacceptable levels of goodness.

Our ‘illustrious’ – and often inebriate – author, Simon A Forward, is entirely to blame.

Over the course of just over a year, Doctor Who fans were hit with the sad news of the passing of three actresses who had portrayed three favourite companions from the series. Lis Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith), Caroline John (Liz Shaw) and Mary Tamm (Romana). All down to cancer.

DWCompanions01

So you can see how a sensitive soul with an affinity for this Doctor Who phenomenon might feel moved to do something in this anniversary year. Especially someone, like Simon A Forward, who lost his own mum to cancer seven years ago this coming May.

Hence, all royalties from Evil UnLtd books will be going to Cancer Research UK until May 24th 2013.

Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil

Paperback

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Evil2Cover

Kindle – Amazon (UK) £2.05

Kindle – Amazon (US) $3.31

Other Ebook – Smashwords $2.99

Paperback (Signed) £9.99 (inc P&P)

EvilFork

Furthermore, with Evil UnLtd Vol 3: Evil UTD due for release that same month (in time for Towel Day, Douglas Adams/Hitchhikers Guide fans take note!) our author was keen to continue with some longer-term contribution beyond that date.

With that in mind, he has decided that a full 50% of royalties on all Evil UnLtd books, including future volumes, will go to Cancer Research UK.

50% goodness is a troubling level of contaminant to find in your own produce and we are far from happy about it, let us tell you. But it’s not in our nature to apologise or withdraw our products from circulation. We’d much rather withdraw circulation from consumers.

Naturally, those same consumers can dispense with book purchases altogether and donate directly to Cancer Research UK.

Jedi and others of a similar lightsaber-wielding hippy-dippy persuasion would caution you to beware of the dark side. We would urge people to embrace it.

Much as it pains us, you will be doing some good.

But ultimately, as we’ve mentioned before, cancer is evil and we could do without the competition. So, please, treat yourself to a book and/or help spread the word by sharing links on your blogs, Facebook, Twitter, by email, whatever your preferred means of communication.

The Farce Of The Dark Side, it proclaims on all our book covers. Although we’re sure that must be some sort of typographical error.

In any case, as the subject header says, May 24th be with you.

Help Evil do some Good.

Have Yourself A Wicked Merry Christmas!

Mwahahahahappy Christmas!

Mwahahahahappy Christmas!

We here at Evil UnLtd would like to wish a Wicked Merry Christmas to all our fans and followers out there on the world wide winternet.

Well, obviously we wouldn’t. This is all our author’s doing. Bad enough that he has insisted we donate our hard-won profits to charity, now he’s gone and lampooned us in some silly seasonal cartoon.

Still, since the charity in question is Cancer Research UK and we are as dedicated to combating rival evils as we are to crushing annoying hero types, we will indulge him on this occasion. Although we will of course be exacting our painful revenge on him at some point in the future.

All I would ask is that people follow this link here and please be so good as to share word of this LIVE UnLtd: Evil vs. Cancer campaign on Twitter, Facebook and generally wherever they can, all over the web – before we suffer any further indignities at the hands of our misguided author.

May your wine be mulled and your senses dulled.

Dexter Snide

(PS People can of course visit Cancer Research UK to donate directly.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us and helped spread the word so far!)

SAF 2012)

LIVE UnLtd

“Tom Hiddleston, another actor our author thinks would make a good me. I suppose he almost looks the part in the suit.” Dexter Snide

Fiction is rife with tales of creations – robots, monsters, what have you – turning on their creators. But it’s not so common to find creators attempting to royally shaft their creations. It is a truly despicable thing, a betrayal of the author-character relationship and quite frankly if the author expects his characters to behave as he wishes in his next book he will be in for a surprise of the nastiest kind.

Nasty is one of those things that we here at Evil UnLtd do best.

Still, we are to some degree at the mercy of our author’s whims and he has decided to fritter profits away on (permit me to shudder) charity. That’s right: all his royalties are going to Cancer Research UK for the next six months (until May 24th 2013).

Personally, I see it as a cynical marketing ploy, exploiting a much-vaunted ‘worthwhile cause’ as a promotional tool and in that respect a laudable scheme. But really, either way, it shouldn’t concern me. It’s his money – the author’s share – and Evil UnLtd are not strictly about profits. One can make more money any time, after all – by printing your own, stealing and so on. Whereas spreading misery and despair et cetera, well, that’s priceless.

Indeed, it is exactly this line of thought that ultimately leads me to applaud this move.

Cancer is evil.

It’s remarkably effective in its ability to make people miserable, devastate lives, all that sort of thing. So you could be forgiven for thinking we would be doubly opposed to any charitable agency that sets out to combat it.

But quite frankly, we can do without the competition.

So I would like to see the back of it.

To that end, I would suggest that we, Evil UnLtd, and all you good people out there, if not actually unite in a common cause, at least engage in this temporary uneasy alliance to do what we can against this pervasive enemy.

You can contribute by purchasing a copies of our first two volumes, The Root Of All Evil and From Evil With Love. Links to the paperbacks and ebook formats are readily available on this site, but I’ll see to it that a minion provides them here again for your convenience:

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil

Paperback 

Kindle (Amazon UK) £2.05

Kindle (Amazon US) $3.28

Other Ebook Formats (Smashwords) $2.99

Paperback (Amazon UK) £8.99

Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

 

Kindle (Amazon UK) £2.05

Kindle (Amazon US) $3.28

Other Ebook Formats (Smashwords) $2.99

Paperback (Amazon UK) £8.99

You can also do your bit by spreading the word, telling your friends and/or enemies. Everybody and anybody.

See, our author was convinced we would disapprove and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for ‘us meddling characters’.

We are far smarter than that.

Long live Evil. Down with cancer.

Dexter Snide

 

Alternatively, please visit Cancer Research UK and make a direct donation.

Happy Birthday DNA

Douglas Adams will be 60 this Sunday.

That is to say, he would have been if not for, you know, Death, The Universe and Everything.

And although we at Galaxy Six Broadcasting are proud to forge our special blend of entertainment (and infotainment, edutainment and all-round lobotainment) with its own distinctive flavour, it would be no overstatement to say that DNA was – or is – the origin of our existence. We’ve created our own Universe and our own Everything, but if it wasn’t for dear old Douglas and his Hitch-Hiker’s Guide – plus numerous strong sources of Brownian motion (yes, sometimes a hot cup of tea, but sometimes the all-important Double Horlicks) – our efforts would have amounted to the equivalent of finding a lump of green putty in our armpit and completely failing to record the incident in verse.

As it is, we’ve recorded our incidents in no less than two volumes, with a third already in production and due for release in December this year. (2012, or an hour later on Galaxy Six +1.)

While others may contribute to the Adamsian universe with sixth books in the trilogy or TV episodes ‘based on’ Dirk Gently, we prefer to honour the man’s memory by creating our own brand. We all pine for more of his lovely fiddly bits around the fjords, but we are not parrots.

So why not try something new.

With that in mind, this weekend we are offering the first instalment in our top quality SF series at HALF PRICE – FOR THIS WEEKEND ONLY. Your chance to climb on board the rollercoaster at the beginning – with a discounted ticket.

Paperback

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil is available on Kindle:

From Amazon in the US

From Amazon in the UK

and in all other ebook formats

From Smashwords

The book was a smash-hit on HarperCollins’ authonomy site, within a month of the sample chapters being posted there, with hundreds of glowing comments from SF readers and those who’d never been near sci-fi in their life. This is what one reviewer had to say on Amazon:

Evil UnLtd: The Root of All Evil is a genius space farce. Dexter Snide and his associates bumble their way through a series of (mis)adventures with a view to accumulating as much power, notoriety and wealth as they can. It is a wickedly funny, extremely well-written sci fi comedy that reads like a mash-up of Douglas Adams meets the TV sit-com, Red Dwarf, and one of my favourite sci fi tribute films, Galaxy Quest. It’s literate sci fi, chock full of humour and word play with some lovely nods to the genre and a wonderfully fitting cast of characters.”

Author Simon A Forward has written a number of books, audio dramas and short stories for Doctor Who as well as novelisations for the BBC’s Merlin series.

He is not DNA. Nor is anyone here at Galaxy Six. We just loved the man’s work.

Hopefully, even as we weave these new and exciting tales, that shows in ours.

Here’s to you, Douglas.

Share and Enjoy.

SAF

(Note: The books are also available in paperback, through Amazon, with signed copies available direct – secure payment with Paypal – from the author’s own webpage www.simonforward.co.uk. Sadly we are unable to offer the paperbacks at a discount at this time, but of course the ebooks can be enjoyed on your PC, Android phone, iPhone, iPad and probably iClaudius as well.)

Evil Movie Database

(Click on the images for larger views)

SAF 2012

Title Sequence

Not all books have such lavish opening title sequences. This is an excerpt from Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love

Through thrashing white water, we descend into swirling blue. Rays of light slant down to play among the bubbles and fluid shadows. Shadows transform: the slender silhouette of a naked woman emerges to dance in the light. Others rise from the depths to swim, almost shark-like, around her. We dive slowly into the midst of their circling naked forms.

An elegant silver gun juts in from the left, one beautifully manicured finger closes around the trigger and sends a bullet streaking across the oily maelstrom of silhouettes.

Sparks ignite and in the explosion of flame, the women are now fiery sirens. They dance, they somersault, they act out some fairly amateur martial arts. If you watch too closely, one of them can be seen to fall over.

Mostly they twist and turn gracefully, rising in a seductive fiery spiral. Above us, sunlight ripples on the surface.

Suddenly, a flotilla of speedboats spears past overhead, painting a screen of churning white in which the burning sirens die, fatally extinguished.

But no, we break through the white, rising into sky blue, bringing the dancing figures with us as curvaceous, vaporous hotties. Babes of cloud, cumulo nymphus, they take to the air, flexing sinuously as – suddenly – sleek fighter jets weave their way between them, looping them with vapour-trail ribbons as they engage in a deadly, balletic dogfight.

Some of the cloud-babes swoop in on the lead plane, settling to dance on the wings as it arcs through the sky, a brace of heat seeker missiles streaking hotly after it.

A phone rings.

Templar hit pause on the remote and turned up the lights. Every bloody time, without fail.

“Templar. Salmon Templar.”

“Templar. We have a situation. Get your tailfin to HQ ASAP.”

“What’s the situation, sir?”

“Are you alone? Need I ask?”

“No, sir, but I soon can be.” Templar looked over to the couch where the deluscious Bunny was peeping over the back with her tousled hair and come-back-hither eyes. “Sorry. Something’s come up.”

“It’s what I was hoping.”

She had succumbed to his charms pretty quickly. They always did. “No,” he told her, gesturing with the phone. “Time you skedaddled.”

She pouted. “Really?” She jerked a thumb at the screen. “That’s all you wanted me for? To film me in silhouette and drop me into some fancy graphics?”

“It’s a hobby.”

“You’re weird.”

“I get that a lot.”

Shaking her head, she hopped off the couch and disappeared to the studio to collect her things. Templar watched her cute butt receding, barely cloaked by the short robe.

“All clear, sir. What’s up?”

“Evil, Templar. Evil Unlimited.”

One Week Later…

Dexter. Knucks. Tanith. Ferret. Doomy. They all huddled together, frightened, bewildered, terrified. Ferret was bleating more than usual, but not for long.

A wave of blinding flame ripped through the ship, wiping the horrified, disbelieving expressions off their faces – and wiping their faces off the existential blackboard.

SAF 2012

We did a Number Two!

Book. In the series.

E-Day has landed.

On this day, 4th Feb, back in 2002 a simple and well-meaning author named Simon A Forward had his first Doctor Who book published. But that’s just peanuts to space and has nothing to do with our story.

Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love is finally with us. The series continues and Vol 1 finally has a partner. Albeit a bit younger than itself, but who are we to judge.

Anyway, you can get your hands on our hot No.2 from any of these outlets:

Amazon Kindle (US)

 

 

Amazon Kindle (UK)

 

 

And for other ebook formats

Smashwords

 

 

Watch this space for news of the paperback version. Coming soon.

 

Meanwhile, don’t forget that info on Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil can be found in the Galaxy Six shop – just click on the tab above and enjoy!

SAF

From Evil With Love

Back Cover BlurbContent Guide

Paperback. Kindle. Ebook

Feb 04/2012

Meanwhile

Evil UnLtd Vol 1: The Root Of All Evil is available for the Kindle from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

Also in other Ebook formats from smashwords.com

And in paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk, with signed copies direct from the author

Evil UnLtd. Above average mean.

SAF

A Time Of Miracles

“Christmas is a time of miracles.” Max Gruber, Die Hard.

“Due to circumstances beyond our control” are words you would never expect to hear from a member of Evil UnLtd. Circumstances are always under their control, it goes without saying.

However, here at Galaxy Six we are, as it turns out, prone to delays and hiccups. And while Christmas may be a time of miracles – for villains and common folk alike – we have to fess up and admit we were entirely incapable of pulling a miracle out of the bag and delivering Evil UnLtd Vol 2 in time for its December release as originally intended. All it takes for Evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing and some good people just didn’t do enough, frankly.

Alas, it’s been held up in editing.

The sad fact of the matter is, Christmas is a time of festivities and insufferable goodwill to all men, which is just designed to hamper the efforts of evil organisations everywhere. Our only consolation will be watching the globe drown under its annual tide of rampant commercialism and after-dinner immobility.

We will be punishing our editorial team by forcing them to work over the holiday period.

Our revised aim will be to bring Evil UnLtd Vol 2: From Evil With Love to you – making it simultaneously available in print and various ebook formats (Kindle, Nook and Cranny) – by 4th Feb 2012. Watch this space for further updates.

The good news is that work has already commenced on Evil UnLtd Vol 3 and no stone will be left unturned – nor indeed left unthrown at low-grade workers – in our efforts to deliver the third book in this series by Christmas 2012.

Naturally, we appreciate that this will come as a great  disappointment, only likely to be matched on Christmas Day when you open up your presents to find a pack of batteries marked “Socks not included”. But, please bear with us, have heart and we will endeavour to make both books worth the wait.

Oh, and in the meantime, Merry Christmas.*

SAF

*This comment is the work of the author and is not in any way representative of the views of Dexter Snide or the members of Evil UnLtd.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

  • Vol 1 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 2 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 3 – Kindle (UK)

  • Vol 4 – Kindle (UK)

  • Signed Paperbacks

    Signed Copies Direct From The Author