Lonely Planet Guide To Goyle – Part 6

Places To Stay

Bottom End

Camping, really, is your best bet. It’s cheaper and you can keep on the move. And if you take sufficient supplies and clothing with you, tightly packed, your backpack should provide some ablative armour should a Goyle decide to shoot you in the back. Heck, why not wear an extra backpack in the front, in case you don’t get the opportunity to turn and run before one of the locals pulls a gun and opens fire. This will have the added benefit of practically doubling your supplies.


The Potemkin. This grand old battleship operates as a hotel and exists in several versions of the capital and has many names – this is just the one we’ve chosen to give it for the sake of convenience. It has all the amenities and comforts of a pre-revolution Russian battleship and given the level of service and working conditions, mutiny among the guests or staff is not an impossibility during your stay. Although technically still (just about) spaceworthy, it is anchored in one of the more scenic canals in the city so you are assured of a great view when you are obliged to jump overboard and swim for your life. Should you enjoy a trouble-free stay, be aware of any motion while on board – this could be an early indication that the old girl has been brought out of mothballs and pressed back into frontline service. If found to be still on board at the time, you might also find yourself pressed into frontline service.

Top End

It is not unknown for certain types of Goyle to take visitors captive and keep them as pets or slaves. Embergoyles, for instance, who have a skin surface like the end of a lit cigarette, are known to treat their pets extremely well. Accommodations are especially good and you have only to take care when they stub their toes on you as it will definitely hurt you more than it does them. It’s also important to be aware that this living arrangement is deemed permanent by the Embergoyle owners and can pose extra challenges when it comes to Getting Away.

SAF 2009

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